Sex Parties (by city/state)

(The Nuclear option:) What you need to do now is make her sweat like a pig and howl like a banshee by putting her into as many positions as you can think of. Go online if you are not a great thinker and look up "sex positions." Throw her on the floor, bend her over the bed, pin her up against the wall, put her legs together and fuck her (pussy) with her ankles in the air, fuck her every which way you can. Put her on top and make her sweat. But whatever you do you can not bust a nut. You must keep fucking her for this to work. And if I haven't been clear you should not have gone anywhere near her ass, you are wearing out her pussy and mouth only. Don't even mention ass.

While you are fucking her and then fucking her some more tell her to "move those hips", "damn you taste sweet", "I'm'a beat that pussy up", "work that cock like a real slut", "be my dirty bitch", "make it nasty", "pump those hips", "show me what ya' got", "work it" and whatever filthy dirty crap pops into your empty heads. Make it dirty. Girls love reading those romance novels which means they enjoy a good story line. This is why you let them pick out the porno. You want something that turns her on because I'm going to assume that you are already turned on and ready to go.

The purpose to the Viagra and the beating up her pussy or the wearing her out or the making her sweat and not coming for a minimum of two hours is to give her a challenge. Can she bring down this mighty oak or will she fail? She will realize you beat her pussy up too much with that damn vibrator and now she can't get you off. Even head isn't working, eventually she will go nuclear and tell you to stick it in her ass. She may not be audible and may be muffled and short of breath or panting if you've been fucking her right. At this point I always make them repeat it, I just say "what did you say" so I can hear it again. She replies: "stick it in my ass", it's like fucking music to my ears. I don't know why because I'm not a fan of anal sex but I love hearing those words.

Now another word of caution, suppose you finally get in her ass and like me you discover that you are not a fan, you can not pull out and put it back in her vagina without first washing it off. Or she will need to take a trip to the clinic. If she is acting all porn star at this point you can pull it out of her ass and put it in her mouth without any health problems but she needs to be full on "give it to me bad boy" before you try that crazy porno shit.

If after fucking her pussy for 2 to 3 hours you still have not heard the magic words that you've been waiting for, simply grab her ass cheeks, one in each hand and spread that ass nice and wide. Now spit on your cock and spit in her asshole and stick your tongue in and lick around. Now tell her, "this is going to be the nastiest night of your life" and gently put the head of your cock on the opening to her ass and slide it in. Spit as needed. If you have a virgin ass do not put your whole cock in, this will take time. And if you get greedy and rip her ass up she'll never let you in again. Take it slow, this not a race.

If her ass is not clean enough to eat it is not clean enough to put your cock in either.

If you can not afford Viagra or the substitutes there is an organic alternative. Simply go to
WebMD or NaturalNews and search for "deep breathing exercise". When rock star Sting used this exercise during sex he claims that it helped him to last 17 hours before he had an orgasm, that's one lucky girl, huh?         

THANK YOU for stopping by Underground America Inc. 

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One more thing for the married men, if you have any children hire a sitter and rent a nice hotel/motel whatever you can afford. You can not afford any interruptions. One more thing for men with children, when you get into the room you are not in a hurry, tell your wife that you have brought the Calgon and are drawing her a hot bubble bath.

If you are a wife, a girlfriend, or whatever and you are reading this so that you can reward your man and do these things to please him, God bless you because you are what all men dream of and if your old man doesn't appreciate this call me and I'll take real good care of you. If you are a woman and doing this for your man tell him that you are running a hot bath for him, pour in the Calgon and bubbles and rub his soapy back, same for men, scrub that back and watch her purr like a cat. Some like a glass of wine with their bath, I prefer an ice cold Corona with lime and salt and a phat blunt. Whatever your mate likes, have it ready and put it in their hands. Light their cigarettes or blunts and bat your eyes as you stare up at them.

Now regardless whether you just met this girl today or if she's your girlfriend or your wife you are now ready to get undressed and let the fun begin. But you do not under any circumstances bring up anal sex before this point or even now. Unless she is talking about it which is very unlikely you have no reason to bring it up either.

Now that you have been out to eat, been to the sex shop and been to the bathroom it is time to start the foreplay. Put the porno in and watch it all the way through with foreplay. After the porno has played through give her the remote and ask her to find her favorite parts. Remove her pants and clothes if you haven't already or ask her to put on the lingerie and parade around while you ogle, hoot and howl.

While she parades around for you bark out orders to her like "bend over", "spread 'em" and "this is going to be the dirtiest night of your life."

Now it's time for the toys. Show her how the bullet works, put the batteries in the vibrator and start working her kitty over. While you work her pussy over with that vibrator bend over and lick/suck her clit. Give her three orgasism before you even stick your cock in her. While you beat her pussy up with that vibrator you can get on your knees and stick your cock in her mouth and work it in and out while making her cum over and over again with that vibrator.

The idea now is to wear her out. If you are a multi-orgasmic male this will work for you too but if you shoot your load and then can't do any more you will need Viagra or some substitute. I've tried to provide everything on this one page that you may need to get anal sex.
Adult Friend Finder is not perfect I have heard complaints like the IM chat box not working but I've also heard they have done some upgrades and fixed that. But it does have real girls that are into unconventional sex. The hard on pills advertised on this page are the strongest on the market without a prescription. They do cost $50. a bottle but that's better than $50 a pill which is what Viagra can sell for on the black market. I've done my research.         

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EDITORS NOTE: Now how do you suppose that I know so much about your girlfriends and wives? Because, I'm a felon and even though I paid my debt back to society a long time ago, no one and I mean no one will hire a felon. Which leaves me with a whole lot of time to fuck your wives and your girlfriends while you are hard at work. Consider it pay back for not leaving me a donation. 

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Now that everyone has a girl, one that is at the very least talking to you let us get you into that ass and doing freaky porno shit that you've only dreamed of.

If you're a girl and reading this you may wondering why guys keep asking you for anal sex and I think there are two reasons, the first is "to go where no man has gone before", if you remember that from Star Trek, the second is hype. Where I live it's all the rage but like I said it's the men that want it and the men complaining that they can not get it.

Then there's the guys who are married and still can't get laid. Yes, I mean just get some pussy, even that requires an appointment. So anal is way off the table in those relationships. But I'm here to help you too, because I'm sick of a woman being raped every two minutes in my country, America, it's fucking disgusting and it's totally not necessary. Look, if you are a real man than you know how to satisfy a woman and if you're any good at it, all of her friends will want some too, so you won't have any problems in the relationship game. I have 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.

Guys are incredibly insecure and it's not warranted. I gave you an example earlier that if a girl is talking to you it is not because she wants to pick your brain. The biggest problem at this point is guys say incredibly stupid things that will drive any girl away. So your best shot is to keep your big dumb mouth shut as much as possible and allow her to do the talking. When there is a silence that you need to fill ask her a question about her, it doesn't matter what, favorite food, color, holiday, why, whatever, just keep her talking and preferably about herself. Now you must feign interest and stare into her eyes as she talks and repeat back to her whatever the last sentence was she said, so she knows that you are listening and not just nodding along. If another girl enters the room or area that the two of you are in ignore her completely as if you can not take your eyes off of your girl/wife/whatever.

Let me explain that this guide is not for the guy who finds a girl that wants anal sex right off the bat. That is so rare I'm not going to give it any more time but those girls do exist but they are about 1 in 200 and there are no tell-tale signs to look for. This guide is how to get anal sex from a girl who would if asked tell you right off the bat no without any hesitation.

I also had a girl who was having a very open and frank talk about sex after we had already had sex and so I popped the question and she made a straight trade with me, meaning she wanted X and she'd do anal if I gave it to her. Most guys can't handle such request I've been told but I have no such taboos and jumped up and got her exactly what she wanted and I got the anal sex that I had asked for. It was that simple. And that is definitely one way to accomplish this. But let's continue.

If you have a girl talking and brushing up on you and you have done all of the above by not saying anything stupid than good. Just keep that up until the two of you are alone.

WARNING if she has not touched you at all you can not proceed. If you have picked up a girl and she is talking but has not touched you yet do not proceed. Period.

Usually I will hang out with a random chick all day without ever touching her. hugging her or bringing up sex. If she's been brushing up against me and touching me and we are now at a quiet spot you simply reach over, put your hands on her pants and gently tug and then wait for the reaction. If the girls muscles tighten in the slightest I back off and ask her what is wrong. Either she says "nothing is wrong" and then you can proceed with removing her pants and the rest of her clothing or she starts crying about assholes raping her and she can't handle sex at all or only under certain circumstances. .

So far we have only been talking about a random chick that you just picked up. If you are married or in a relationship and already asked for anal sex, only to get shot down I will write (below) in a minute how to get her to beg for anal sex, too.

Let's talk props because props are very important. There are some props which help get you laid and they are even more important in getting anal sex. What do I mean by props? I mean a lot of things but let's start with the obvious. And  these only work if it is what she is already into, I'm talking about liquor and drugs. But they are not necessary, meaning if she does not drink it won't help to get her drunk but if she likes to drink you definitely want to have her favorite drink on hand or her favorite drug. Party favors like this go both ways. If you are a man and you are incredibly good between the sheets word will get around and women will ply you with drugs and alcohol to get into your pants. The same is true if you're a woman and you are incredibly attractive. But if not, than you should expect to buy any drugs or alcohol that is required.

Other props include sex toys, videos and Viagra. If you are married there will be another prop we will discuss later. Even if this is a girl that you just met, if she is talking to you and touching you as she talks to you it is perfectly okay to take her to an adult store. Now if she balks and doesn't want to go inside than she's just a tease that wasn't going to put out in the first place and you can lose her but I have not encountered this yet. Take her inside and you will find that when it comes to sex and what girls like they are not shy. Buy her something sexy and then buy her a toy, first get her a bullet and explain how it works and then take her to the vibrators and let her pick one. When she ask what all this is for, just reply that she is in for the night of her life. If you can not get your hands on any Viagra there are substitutes and you need to find the one that works best for you. I do have one that I recommend but it is a little hard to come by called Dong Qua. If you can not find it I will make it available through here. I also have an ad banner on this sight for a very good stay hard pill and this too is very important in getting any girl to ask for anal sex.

You'll also find an ad banner on this page/site for
Adult Friend Finders, it is a swingers site where you can find girls who are into anal and other types of unconventional NSA sex (in case you haven't found a girl yet).          



Now that you have your girl and your props you are ready for sex. Next stop funky town USA.

(Married men:) Let's work on married men and couples. I usually work out of a Starbucks and then walk out to my car every 45 minutes to smoke like a chimney and I love to observe people. And I've got to tell you that I see the same thing over and over again, a car pulls up and the man jumps up and runs into the store that they are going to while the woman is still getting out of the car. There's no holding hands, no waiting for each other or holding doors open. Sometimes the man will stop at the entrance and hold the door for the woman but he's about 20 feet ahead of her. I see this when couples are walking to, the man is walking 20 feet ahead of his woman. If this is you I have to tell you that you will never have anal sex with your mate. Why does this matter? Anal sex is very intimate, it's not like other forms of sex.

If you are married or in a relationship there is another prop that will help you
, I've not used one myself but if your woman complains of anything very gently offer an Enema to ease whatever she's complaining of. If she quickly rejects this just say something like my mom swears by them. If she's interested just offer to help any way you can. If this fails there are other ways to achieve this so only suggest an Enema, if she's not interested don't worry about it.

Here's the situation we are trying to avoid, suppose you have finally got your girlfriend/wife ready to ask you for anal and as you push your cock into her ass her stomach gets knots and as you pull your cock out to push back in you look down and your cock has shit all over it. This is not fun for anyone. Unless fecal matter is a turn on for you the smell alone will turn you off and shrivel up your dick. Now you've gone through all of this work for a pile of shit. You don't want that. So let's cover this before we continue.

As I said an Enema is not necessary. Simply take her out to your nearest
Starbucks, why Starbucks? Coffee is a laxative, so no tea or fruity drinks, it must have coffee in it and Starbucks packs the coffee in. No matter what size she ask for buy the biggest one that they make and then make sure she finishes it. Next is a nice salad bar like at the Sizzler or Olive Garden and then buy her something greasy like french fries, onion rings or fried zucchini. When she goes into the bathroom and leaves a nice stink in there you know she is ready to go.

If this is your girlfriend or wife this is the time to take her to the sex shop. Sexy lingerie, a bullet if she doesn't have one, let her pick out a porno and a vibrator. If you want anal sex you have to give her something first. Like I said this is not like the other two holes that you have already been in, this is the anus, the gold cup, the Super Bowl ring, this isn't going to be easy. Are you up to the task? Are you man enough? We shall see.

If you've taken your Viagra or substitute you should be rock hard and everything is in place.          

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(How to) Get any girl to go anal (for Dummies)

By Christopher R Rice

If you have asked only to be told no, this article is for you. Anal sex is not like other types of sex, it is a process.

Anal sex seems to be on every guys mind but not on any girls. Leaving guys scratching their empty noggins and not getting anywhere. If all else fails you can always buy it from a hooker but that's really not necessary. The truth is that you can get any girl out there to give up that ass nice and smooth and you don't even need to ask. Sex is not a set of I'll do this, that and the other but I'll never do that, unless that makes you gag and vomit because you've tried it before and hated it.

I'm not sure that I'm being perfectly clear and I do not want you to be a
Harvey Weinstein, Donald Trump or Bill Cosby. So let us start from the beginning for those of you who may not have a girl at all. First off, if you want to be successful and you have a girl talking to you chances are she is not interested in your mind. But you do not want to be a Bill Cosby so you never talk about sex until she mentions it or brings it up. Second, you can not touch her until she touches you. That's right, the second thing that a girl or woman does to show her interest in a man is she will touch you or brush up on you as she talks to you. Recognize that other women haven't done this when talking to you because they were not interested in you. But now that she is touching you it is still not a good time to pull a Harvey Weinstein, Donald Trump or Bill Cosby, just be cool, and recognize that you are about to score.

Consider this a holding pattern. The two of you will talk and she will continue making physical contact as she talks. Just keep up the conversation and never mention sex until she does. That is all you have to do at this point. Any more on your part and you'll find your net and your hook empty. Just relax and fill up all of those empty spaces with mindless chatter but please do not exaggerate and start telling her that you are a big producer in Hollywood or something because if she's still talking to you than none of that BS matters to her. She likes you for just who you are, God knows why but keep your BS to yourself and just be straight with a girl. Believe it or not but this is full proof.

(How to pay for anal:) Before I continue, let's assume that you do not have a girl
and you do not have the time to pick one up. Let's assume that you need some ass right now and that you are willing to pay for it but still do not know how to get anal sex. I can help you find the girl that does anal. If you're looking for a working girl and you are on the internet there are some clues, first look for the codes like: "big freaky booty" words like "freak" and "booty" are usually code for anal, "very open minded" may or may not be code for anal sex.
Codes are not exact but are a good place to start to narrow your search down. Next look at the photos, a girl with pictures of her ass in the air is another indication. Not always but a lot of girls use the amounts of time they sell/offer as their menu. So a girl that says 15 minutes for $60. and 30 minutes for $100. and an hour for $200. is really offering a blowjob for $60, half and half for $100. and anal sex for $200. But this too is not exact as not all girls understand that the times offered are actually her menu because offering sex for a fee is illegal in all 50 states.

Next thing to look for is race, more white hookers do anal than any other race. Next is age, and don't get me wrong this is not racist or ageist, it is simply my observations from being in the business. The older the hooker the better chances are she does anal. Next is the final test, all girls say in their ads no explicit talk but you don't want to have to drive all over town popping the question and getting a no every time, so when you call you mention that you are looking for something specific and don't want to waste both of your times if it is not offered. And you realize she can not talk sex over the phone so tell her you are going to tell her what you want (anal sex) but she does not answer yes or no and next you will ask her should I drive over or not. This way she does not tell a stranger who may be an undercover cop if she actually does sell sex or not but she can tell you if you should come over or if it would be a waste of everyone's time (over the phone).

If you find a streetwalker you can get anal a lot cheaper but on the internet expect to pay $200. to 1,000. a pop for anal sex with a condom.

If you're going to get a prostitute/escort, go to a legit review site like The Erotic Review (TER) and read reviews about the escort. If said escort has no reviews she might be law enforcement (LE). Reviews will also tell you if her backdoor is open.

(How to get any girl to go anal:) But this article is not about how to buy anal sex it is about how to get your girl or any girl to give up mouth, pussy and ass. To always say yes. Earlier I wrote about if you have a girl talking to you already, now let's discuss how to get a girl to talk to you, and then we will talk about if you already have a girlfriend or wife and how to get her to ask you for anal sex. Yes, you just heard me right, if you have a wife or a girlfriend I can get her to beg you to stick it in her ass. You won't have to ask her just follow the simple steps below and she will beg you to fuck her in her ass.

Ahead of time I'm going to tell you that this is a process and most men are too lazy to do all of the steps. Most men are too stupid to get anal from any girl, they keep asking and they keep getting told no. I'm also sure there are plenty of guys who will read this and think nah that's too much trouble. So let me tell you that I wrote this because I'm sick and tired of hearing every guy I know say the same thing. But know this, it's a beautiful day outside and I could be at the beach instead of writing this, so do me one favor and if any of this information helps you come back and feed my donation button. It's pure hell being a starving artist, let me tell you. DONATE

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(For single guys:)Now what if you don't have a girl talking and rubbing up on you? Have no fear there are girls everywhere. First, recognize that girls spend time in the mirror because appearance is important to them. Second, recognize that girls wear perfume because smells are important to them. So first, shower, twice. Find some trendy duds. Get your hair cut. Find a deodorant with a cologne in it, I use Old Spice Sport, and get a lot of compliments. Next get a good cologne, nothing cheap, nothing from the 99 cent store and not Axe, real cologne from a real cologne store. This will set you back a few bucks ($20. to $100.) but it is well worth it. Now it's time to flaunt it, start by sitting and flirting at a local Starbucks and if you strike out there hit the clubs, girls are everywhere. No luck yet? Spend a day at the mall, scoring or picking up a chick is a numbers game like anything, so if I'm selling vacuums door to door I have a better chance of selling one by the more people I ask. If I quit after the first no, I certainly won't score. Picking up a girl is the same. If all of the above didn't work just get in your car and go cruising and every girl that you see walking or sitting at a bus stop just pull up and ask her if she would like a ride. She will not accept unless she is interested in you, so if she says "no", don't be upset, just go to the next one. And when one accepts your offer for a ride just be cool as I explained above, do not touch her until she touches you and do not mention or even joke about sex until she brings it up. Now you've got your girl and you're on your way to funky town.